My Dog Has Two Mommies: Diary of an Outed Woman

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My dog has two mommies.

My dog has two mommies.

My dog has two mommies.

Woo Hoo three times a charm. It took me 20 years to write that and 20 years to actually let people know that any dog I have ever had as an adult has had two mommies. I will turn 45 years young on Christmas Day and I recently did more than come out of the closet: I busted out of the closet and left my high heels in there where they belong.

What this means for me, as a human being; for me, as a writer; and for me, as a dog mom is quite weighty. I have 20 years of catching up and revealing to do. We all have to come out on our own terms, if we ever feel like doing so, and when the time is right. For some, that time is never. I just decided life is short and that if I can pay taxes, love someone with my whole heart, raise and rescue pets, and be a fully functioning member of society, then dammit the closet is no place for me to hide.

Dexter Morgan, the lead character the television series of the same name, used to say that everyone is hiding something. His character’s secret was darker and more sinister, but I’ve come to realize how very true that statement is. Some people hide hate, others hide behind a mask of their own choosing, and yet others are very out there in their disdain and harmful attitude.

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Me with our belated Cocker Spaniel, Brandy Noel.

What does this have to do with dogs and sharing life with a dog? There is a very large contingency of LGBT dog moms and dads in this world who share their lives with a dog(s). I happen to be one of them. For 20 years, I’ve kept quiet about me and some of the most fantastic things that have happened in my life.

If you follow this blog and my writings, this is a part of who I am and a part of what this blog will represent: Those who, for too, long, have not been represented authentically. Dr. Phil always preaches to live an authentic life, and this is me taking his advice and then some.

In 2007, I was the winner of a screenwriting contest for the now defunct television show, The L Word. The show featured a group of women, mostly lesbians, living in L.A. and the trials and tribulations they experienced. Many of the characters were really raw and down to earth and others were very much as if from another planet. I could not relate to them, but I do know there were folks who could. How many Fonzies are out there? How many Fresh Prince of Bel Airs do you know? So, art and life cross paths now and again and imitate one another. Such was the case with The L Word.

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Well, the screenwriting contest took place in 2007 and I won. In fact, I won the first round and was interviewed in person in Cape Cod, Massachusetts. More specifically, a film crew and producer met me in Provincetown, Massachusetts, a 2-mile strip of gay friendliness. I set my screenplay in P-town, and so they followed us there and shot the “who I am, what I wrote” segment that is permanently housed on the DVD for Season 4 of Showtime’s hit tv series, The L Word.

You don’t have to dig up archives, and there is a dog-oriented sector of this video: Our first dog shared together as a couple, Brandy Noel, is in this video. We lost Brandy about a year later, one week shy of her 15th birthday. I want Fidose readers to share in this slice of our lives, see part of who I am, where my roots are, and understand how ordinary yet extraordinary those who face a life in a closet are. I don’t consider myself brave, but I do consider myself fed up.

With that, here’s me at the beach. LOL I laughed writing that because I am fed up but I am so proud. I feel like I’ve been asleep for 20 years and that part of me has finally woken up. Rise and shine, here’s the 3-minute video.  I ended up writing an entire episode, for the contest, but it remains one of my favorite pieces of fiction. I’ve since switched careers and am living truer and more authentic to myself with each passing day. Exhaling feels pretty damn good these days.

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Comments

  1. You got that right… dreams can come true! And it seems they have for you. Wow! That’s so cool you were a grand prize winner for the L Word. I remember the show. Thanks for sharing the video, you look and sound amazing!

  2. Good for you, Carol. Darlene and Dexter must be so proud of you. Life is always better when we feel comfortable enough to live our authentic selves everywhere. :)

    Awesome video. No tv so I’ve never seen the L Word. But I’m always looking for more great shows featuring women. I’ll try to find episodes online.

    • Carol Bryant says:

      The show was so very good for so long and it sort of took off in a whacky direction the last season, but nonetheless, it served to break ground. A lot of really good female characters were portrayed in the show.

  3. How lovely to get to know a part of you and your life and your love! No wonder you are doing the Happy Dance!

  4. This is so cool! I’m glad you decided to share this!

  5. Cheryl Haralson says:

    Carol, You and Darlene have such beautiful hearts and have opened them so wide to dogs in need as well as to those of us who have happily bumped into you during the course of our lives. I feel so much richer and can see the possibilities of so much more in life just knowing and loving you both and Dexter too.

  6. I can’t even articulate how in ah of you I am. You’re so amazing.

  7. <3 <3 <3

  8. Great video! I’m so glad you’re sharing this part of your life! It’s great to see the “whole picture”, so to speak!

  9. Linda Konek says:

    Carol, I am so glad that you are comfortable enough to come out. Dexter is lucky to have 2 Mommies that love him. Lin and I always watched the L Word together. I know how hard it was for me to come out but I couldn`t live how my family wanted me to. That is so awesome of what all you have done with your life.

  10. Carol, I am so happy for you and Darlene. And congrats on the winning the screenwriting contest, I always enjoy reading your posts and articles. No one should ever have to hide in the closet, I’m so glad you are living the life you were meant to live. When my brother “came out” years ago, I loved that he could be so honest with me. He was my best friend and I’m happy that he found true love before he passed on. Your dog has two mommies and that is Awesome!!!

  11. Michelle Olsen says:

    Having followed you and Dexter and your posts, writings, and exploits, I am so very happy that you now can share your whole life with the world. When we love completely…that is a big part of what makes us whole. Look forward to hearing more of your exploits as the 2 dog mommies, and of course Dexter always makes good copy!

  12. Carol, my emotions are so mixed for you…it is so sad, for so many different reasons that you have lived in hiding for too long. So many women do. I thank my blessed stars that my teen daughter, chose to completely bust out, when she was 15…not in a *in your face* way…but she met a beautiful girl, who was as proud of who she was, as well. I love them so much…they make my heart swell. They actually were *THE* couple in highschool. I received so many comments from parents, on how they positively influenced their children’s view on same sex couples…the fact that they were embraced by their peers was such a fantastic thing! It made me believe that there is hope in people <3 I feel so happy for you, and your spouse…and your fur baby, Dexter…we have two cockers, Spanky and Lilly…Abbey and Sydney raised Lilly…and she could not be more affectionate and loving…such a nice doggie ;)

  13. I’m so happy and proud for you Carol. You go woman!!

  14. I love that shirt! Where can I get one? My friends/neighbors (often referred to as awesome neighbors) have three dogs with two mommies : )

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